I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Randomize
