I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
