If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
