Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I did not marry a roomba.
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