And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
