your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
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