My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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