Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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