I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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