So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
