hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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