Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
