Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby