this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.