Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Dating After Heartbreak
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.