I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
