he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
