...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
