All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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