We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
a search helicopter?!
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
