just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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