the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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