well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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