marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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