I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
