I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
