He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize