dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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