i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
