Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize