ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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