Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
