Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
