I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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