yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
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I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
