neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Let's get the cat blown out
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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