I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
