Im at strip club and am horny
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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