Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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