I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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