Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
