when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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