he puts the penis in happiness.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
