Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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