The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
