If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
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the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize