i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Randomize
