He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize