Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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