My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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