oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
