We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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