dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
