I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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