I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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