i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize