you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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