i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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