I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
