I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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