update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize