if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
either way he was missing a nipple.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
