therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
