Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
