Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
