this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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