My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
i think my cat just said my name.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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