and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I AM VODKA MAN
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
