Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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