You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
