Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He has the fingertips of a God
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